I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
