Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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