Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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