he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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