Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize