I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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