I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
