I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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