These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
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i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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