So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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