it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
