Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
