Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
