The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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