Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
