doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
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his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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