I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
