im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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