I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
