I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
