craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
