My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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