if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
