He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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