Already got asked if we're dating
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
