So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
