And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
