i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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