This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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