he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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