I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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