You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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