Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
