is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
