He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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