I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
