Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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