and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize