What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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