dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
