i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
