my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
