I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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