I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
