I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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