so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
