Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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