I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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