Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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