If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
