Just cropdusted the office
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
