She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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