I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize