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1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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