My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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