so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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